Patio Dweller Gifts

Patio Melt

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"Come and get it!"

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"I know. I miss him, too."

We practically live out here in the summer.

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

"We missed Fashion Week!"

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

"Factominiums."

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'Sunday in the park'

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' 'I'll go out onto the patio.'

'Would you like me to sing you the news?'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'Why would you need GPS? Have you suddenly forgotten how to get from the couch to the refrigerator?'

Early American Think tank

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

Sam Allardyce

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

Balcony hot air balloon.

"The screen porch makes it a home."

"Ah! It feels so good to check something off my to-do list!"