Patina Appreciator T-Shirts

"After thirty years, that old car of mine is still on the road."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Artist on the Beach

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Brickie's Mate

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Coot on a jetty

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Evolution or Creation? A Compromise

"Lou, c'm'ere - you gotta check out this guy's Degas!"

Penguin lost his appetite because of contaminated fish.