Potato Appreciator T-Shirts

"Where do you see yourself in five potatoes?"

"I made your favorite potatoes."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Stupid Microwave

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

Paving over the window-box

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

InAction Figure, Couch Potato Man

Spud dating.

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"We're out of empanadas!"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'You know, I'm appreciating having long arms more and more as I get older,,,'

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Hypnotato,

'That's not funny, Fred.'