Potato Appreciator Pillows

"Where do you see yourself in five potatoes?"

"I made your favorite potatoes."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

Stupid Microwave

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Origins Of Evolution

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Paving over the window-box

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

'Peel, Spot! Peel!'

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

"If you're ever granted three wishes, don't blow them all on a giant body with tiny arms legs."

"You have such beautiful eyes."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

InAction Figure, Couch Potato Man

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

'You know, I'm appreciating having long arms more and more as I get older,,,'

Spud dating.

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

'We haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately.'

The Hypnotato,

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"