Patient Of The Plant T-Shirts

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Man transplants plant in his garden.

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'Bored?'

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"Are you going to move?"

A feast in a hospital bed.

"Hey. What are you doing to that card?"

"I'd like you to see a botanist. You exhibit many of the symptoms of Dutch elm disease."

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

"Oh no, Daisy's committing herbicide!"

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

"It's my week to be responsible for the class plant."

"Take me! After 15 minutes of cell phone chatter and day-time TV, a colonoscopy will be a relief!"