Patient Experience Explorer T-Shirts

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"Eureka! Details to follow."

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

I love Science.

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'No, no, no, Tompkins! We decided to make today Causal Friday, not Casual Friday!'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

Dr. Peabody took on the most challenging research projects.

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'