Patience Virtuoso T-Shirts

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

"OK, that was the ebb tide. Now we wait for the neap tide."

'Sorry, but we're transfering you from 'hold' to 'holdover'.'

Due to the economic climate, some bus routes have been cut!

'I can't believe everybody isn't camping out to get in first.'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

'Rome wasn't built in a day, you know!'

'Sorry about the long delay in getting an appointment. I know your frustration. I have been waiting two weeks for my bonus check.'

"Your call is important to us, you are currently number two hundred and eighty in a queue of two hundred and eighty three...!!"

"Some dog friendly pub this is. Ten minutes I've been stood here, and still haven't been served!"

"Look, I don't mind being on hold, but my retirement party is starting in five minutes."

"Ugh. I've been on hold for 20 minutes..."

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Balancing two espresso martinis

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Poetry repairman

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Writer

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"