Paternal Putter Pillows

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

Thanks God!

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

Golfer hitting a die.

"It's only a game, according to my psychiatrist."

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

Neanderthal Golf.

'Boy, after you hit the golf ball and hop around a little bit, it ends up being, what's that word... boring.'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

Golfers sword-fighting with golf clubs.

Holy Golf

Golfer uses 'eeny, meeny, miny, mo' to decide which club to use.

'How did the first game go?' - 'I hit a ball in one.'

"I think this calls for a number 3 rake."

'Me and my clubs are watching the golf tournament.'

Divine Golf

'When you said this course was untouched by time, you weren't kidding.'

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Golf Heaven: Is it like I'd imagined? Yeah, pretty much.

'I thought we agreed, Father...no praying!'

'Um... no. I don't think so.'

Golfer hits ball towards ice fisherman's fishing hole

'Quiet!' (to bird in a tree).