Patent Collector T-Shirts

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The tooth fairy.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Money Bar.

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The Oxford Comma Coin

Dept. of the Treasury

Money god

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Try his land line.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."