Pasta Prognosticator T-Shirts

"Fire department, I guess—point is I made too much pasta."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Italia tours

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Pasta

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

The End Is Nigh. . . Told You

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"It will be all your fault."

Doctor's Office. He put me on a pasta diet -- He says I've been off my noodle long enough.

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

Old Phones Lasagne

Beware of the 4th quarter.

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Linguini for two?"

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'Must be the chef's signature dish.'

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

Mozart eating noodles.

Impasta syndrome

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"By the way...mom was out of spaghetti noodles, so she used worms!"

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Spaghetti Mummy

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."