Pasta Prognosticator Gifts

"Fire department, I guess—point is I made too much pasta."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Italia tours

Pasta

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"It will be all your fault."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Beware of the 4th quarter.

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Old Phones Lasagne

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Linguini for two?"

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

'Must be the chef's signature dish.'

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

Mozart eating noodles.

Impasta syndrome

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"God has just spoken to me. He said he's kind of tired of pasta."

A self-filling prophecy.

Spaghetti Mummy

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."