Passenger-peacekeeper Gifts

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Home Sweet Home

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Dog ignores angry cat.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'How long have you been fighting?'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Warring parents

Aleppo vs. Russia

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

A neutral observer.

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

The Arab Autumn

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

'To survive in the Pilot-Fish Business, you have to remember not to argue with the Boss...'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'