Party Whisperer T-Shirts

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Just be yourself."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Hush puppy.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

That party went well.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

Husband bakes a pie

"Projectile hairballing."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Man and Machine snoozing

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."