Party Whisperer Pillows

"Just a heads up, folks. Our son is looking for his pet snake, so if you see him, he answers to 'Skippy'."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Just be yourself."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

That party went well.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Projectile hairballing."

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

Husband bakes a pie

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

Will eat your homework for $.

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Man and Machine snoozing