Ball Whisperer Pillows

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

Snooker cue pierces ball.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Touring Cyclist

Critisize your weight.

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Perhaps it was too soon for a self-driving wheel."

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

"You spoil that Hamster."

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

Granny Wear

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

'I need a new toy!'

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

Stitch one, pearl one...

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

Live Laugh Knit

"Don't get any ideas. It's a sweater, not a scratching post!"

'He's been a perfect jewel, ever since I knocked the stuffing out of him.'

Haircuts

Psychiatrist knitting

Potter

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.