Party Disliker Gifts

'I hate networking.'

That party went well.

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

"You know I hate birthdays!"

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Voter impatience.

Assange Among Friends

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

Shy Man at Party

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

Lukashenko's Nemesisters

"Just because I switched political parties at an appropriate time?"

Floating Voters

'It's a party invitation, Phillip, not a hostile takeover.'

GOP tent door

"Just a heads up, folks. Our son is looking for his pet snake, so if you see him, he answers to 'Skippy'."

'I knew I shouldn't have come. That Maximus, throws the worst orgies!'

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

The Republican Machine

Misplaced smugness: When you think you're the only one at the party who's thought to use the back of the hand towel.

'Does anyone else have an opinion of their own?'

'I just want a candidate who doesn't make me flinch.'

'Nothing against you - I just don't like the taste of rabbit.'

'May I say how delightful it is to hear he use of the word 'Egad'.'

"Young Justice" got renewed for a third season! What's that? It's a cartoon about a bunch of superhero sidekicks, like Robin and Kid Flash. They start off in the shadows of the more famous heroes, but they quickly show that they're every bit as cools as the bigger, stronger heroes. I think I can tell why that show appeals to you, little buddy. Does your cup feel heavy? My cup feels heavy.

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

"You're still here. So much for wishes."

"I can't give you a raise because that would decrease the multiple by which my compensation exceeds yours."

Making a list, checking it twice...

"Well that certainly took long enough! Next on the hit list...the Tea Party and that dang Glenn Beck."

I told people who I was going to vote for, but on election day I stayed home and played board games instead. The Milton Bradley effect.