Party Decorating T-Shirts

'Hurry with the balloons. We must get a more festive atmosphere.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

Santa Claus's Mail

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas Tree

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Painting the Ceiling

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Piranhaclaus

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Happy Easter

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Labor Day Flowers

"We're looking for something for our panic room."