Particle Physics Buff Gifts

FAQs about the Hadron Collider

When protons collide...

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Third Option

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Best System in the World

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

'Figuring out what a day equals is hard. I think I'll work on something easier ... '

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

Albert Einstein

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"I'm tired of being an electron."

Neutron, Proton, Electron, Moron!

Newton discovers surrealism

Physics toy.

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."