Parson Gifts

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'But why do we have to plough the fields and scatter when we get everything from Tesco?'

'It comes to something when the state of the pound is such that we HOPE to find lots of foreign coins!'

'It's easy to tell when it's Nativity Play time - I can never find a tea-towel.'

'Easter coming so soon after Christmas has almost turned Anthony into a regular churchgoer.'

'Does anyone have a light, please?

A man having difficulty standing up on the icey path

The Pet Young Bachelor Parson.

Places of Amusement!

Boy confesses he wants to be a clown.

Fine Unsophisticated Old Boy from the Country

'Can't we call the missing parson's bureau if the vicar doesn't turn up?'

The little church in the park

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Parson and abandoned husband

A Boy Visits The Rector To Ask For Some Soup.

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

Slightly Mixed.

World Tour.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

James Barrie.