Parrot Punsters Gifts

Polly Clinic.

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dog Walker

'It's a treasure map.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

A dog reads a newspaper

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Hamlet.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

Various Birds of Pray.

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'