Parrot Chatterer Pillows

'Don't just sit there, say something.'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

'Psst...e=mc?.'

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

'You keep out of this!'

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

"Who's a pretty boy?"

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

'Police? I'm being stalked.'

'He's made of polly-ethelene.'

Birdie stretches his legs.

'Poke me once more with your finger, buster,and I'll show you what polly can say.'

"You turned all night long!"

"Wow, the gossip is that these guys are not mere birdwatchers, they're professional ornithologists here to study us! What an honour!"

'Polly want's a scotch.'

"Yep, it's irritable fowl syndrome alright."

"Well, you shouldn't say things if you don't mean them."

Football Manager's Parrot

Parrot to owner: 'The cracker is fine, but will it satisfy my emotional needs?'

'So! You're still watching those talk shows after I told you to stop!'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

'C'mon Ace bark, you damn fool!'

"And what speed would you say you were doing?"