Parrotwhisperer Pillows

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Hush puppy.

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"That is an outrageous slur."

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"