Parrotwhisperer Pillows

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Quick, start the car!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'You know too much!'

Hush puppy.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"That is an outrageous slur."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"