Parmesan Enthusiast Gifts

Trendy Drink

Cheese

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

Garlic Free Zone.

Italia tours

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Haute Chinese

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Thermidor Dali

Old Phones Lasagne

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."