Parking Garage Ponderer Gifts

"For your convenience, there's a parking garage just next door."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

Retirement Issues

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

"Not only is it a planet the same size as earth but is has plenty of parking."

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

The mysterious world of ligand substitution