Parking Garage Ponderer Pillows

"For your convenience, there's a parking garage just next door."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Retirement Issues

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

"Not only is it a planet the same size as earth but is has plenty of parking."

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'