Park Conservation Gifts

"At what level membership can we put you down for 'Foliage,' 'Lawn,' or 'Fertilizer'?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

North Pole

Deforestation.

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

Nature versus commerce.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

reincarnated worm...

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"I love you too, big guy."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Dog Park

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."