Park Conservation T-Shirts

"At what level membership can we put you down for 'Foliage,' 'Lawn,' or 'Fertilizer'?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Deforestation.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

North Pole

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

The Environmentalist

Nature versus commerce.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

reincarnated worm...

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

"I love you too, big guy."

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Dog Park

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?