Parisian Pup Amusingly Misbehaved Gifts

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

The Goalkeeper

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

cat singing into microphone

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

He Did It!

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

Cookie Thief

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

Dog stuck in cat flap.

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

Cat flushing toilet with dog in bath.

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Hang Time Fido

"You threw the wrench again, didn't you?"

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'