Parish Council Member Gifts

"Looks like the board will finally have a reason to call a meeting."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

"Is your church up for the 'Best Media Coverage' award?"

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

A curate dining with some hunters

Community Complaints Redress Mechanisms Bureaucracy

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

church