Parish Council Member Pillows

"Looks like the board will finally have a reason to call a meeting."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Power corrupts: McDonalds.

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

"Is your church up for the 'Best Media Coverage' award?"

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

"This isn't the caring way to treat those who disagree with you, Pastor Bob."

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

Gentrification vs Manchester...

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

'I'd like to ask the council's advice on how to get the congregation to sit closer to the front of the church.'

A curate dining with some hunters

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."