Parenting Topics Explorer Gifts

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Suffering from Cooties?

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'My kids don't understand me.'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

(Preschool for Dummies)

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

Meet the author.

'He was raised by sparrows!'

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

Daughter/psychiatrist

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Looks like Timmy got solitary.'