Parenting Perfectionists Pillows

'I just feel like we're setting him up to be disappointed in the real world.'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'We've hired a personal trainer to teach him how to play with his educational toys.'

Helicopter Parents Support Group: 'If everyone could just take a seat!'

Modern Parenting Olympic Scoring System

"The educational toys were a waste of money."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'I can 'YO', but the second 'YO' isn't working!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

For sale - Used only Once.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Perfection

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

"You're welcome."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'