Parenting Milestones Gifts

'Forget it, Jeb. This see-saw is broken.'

"It's a lot of pressure on me not to pressure him."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Early childhood development

"We started him signing at 6 months."

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

Baby crying in cot being put on 'pause' by Mum with a remote

'I have this recurring nightmare. Mum's so engorged she can't get out of bed to feed me.'

"Joey's screaming AND throwing stuff! Let's hear it for multi-tasking!"

"I'm so proud of Baldo! I've asked him to make his bed and he's been doing it all week!"

Autistic child

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'