Parenting Milestone Gifts

'It's the only way we can get the kids into the garden.'

Child warning mum not to punish her because only she can work the internet

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'He flunked everything except 'Self-Esteem.''

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'This place looks like a kid's room!'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'Mom said I was rude and put me in time out to learn some manners. I'm in solitary refinement!'

'She blogged her first word today.'

'Look Tom, Look. It is good. Yes. Good. The End. Published by Kaledoscopic Enterprises. 437 Schermerhorn Boulevard.'

Child complaining while his mother putting on total 'son' block.

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

'Don't bother daddy -- he had a defining moment today.'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

'This would be a good time to talk about heredity.'

'I dreamed last night that she was sixteen and had a learner's permit.'

"Any chance one of you might hang around and be our sitter for New Years Eve?"

"Mum, Dad, where was I downloaded from?"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

My folks have always been big on safety in numbers.

"Snap out of it, dear, I pried the phone from your hand ten minutes ago!"

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"He wasn't ready for the talk."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"His first words were 'Been there, done that.' "

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Papa's gonna flip out and make everyone around him anxious and miserable."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"They grow up so quickly."

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

'I think you could have tried to explain the birds and the bees to him in a better way.'

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."