Parenting Humoristas Pillows

'There's no room for water!'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Dad Trophies

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Time for bed, guys."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'