Parenting Gifted Child Pillows

Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero.

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Circus Act

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"