Parenthood Pundit Pillows

'The blood tests confirm what we thought: he has ALBD - Annoying Little Bastard Disorder.'

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

'They want to spend the weekend at daddy's.'

"Dad, do they ever have a 'Staying Home From Work Cause You're Faking You're Sick With Your Child' day?"

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've created a teenager!'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'