Parenthood Pundit Gifts

'The blood tests confirm what we thought: he has ALBD - Annoying Little Bastard Disorder.'

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

'They want to spend the weekend at daddy's.'

"Dad, do they ever have a 'Staying Home From Work Cause You're Faking You're Sick With Your Child' day?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've created a teenager!'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'You know, it's amazing what having a child costs you when you add it all up.'

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'