Parenting Dilemma Pundit Gifts

'Satellite TV? You're spoiling that kid.'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'... And, don't worry about his future. I'm sure my Son will give him a job, when they grow up.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

"Pardon me, but I couldn’t help noticing how well-behaved your children are. May I ask which medications they’re on?"

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

"Support the head!"

Kids, kids. Did you forget it was Mother's Day again?

"Mommm! I know you said ''no,' but it wasn't your usual firm 'no' that I admire and respect so much!"