Parenthood Juggling Master Gifts

Candles: Mom burning at both ends.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

Food deliverer's baby.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Save us!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"First break since 2008."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Baby On Boardroom

Hassled Mother.

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Balancing Family and Work

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - You'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."