Parenthood Anticipators Gifts

'Babies Unlimited, free delivery.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

Prepper Dog

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'We've created a teenager!'

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'