Parental Show-offs Gifts

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

Yummy Mummy

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

Baby Footballer

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Muscular Dad

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

I got a hundred in school today... 50 in history, and 50 in maths!

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Still having problems finding day care?'

"So, what's your daughter's credit score?"

'be careful what you wish for.'

Another Rugby Star is Born.

Typically nouveau-riche - they've bought the house next door as their kids' Wendy House!