Parental Show-offs Gifts

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

Baby Footballer

Yummy Mummy

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Muscular Dad

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

I got a hundred in school today... 50 in history, and 50 in maths!

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

"And these are the twins, Buzz and Buzz-off."

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Still having problems finding day care?'

"So, what's your daughter's credit score?"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

Typically nouveau-riche - they've bought the house next door as their kids' Wendy House!

'be careful what you wish for.'

'Honest Dad! All I said was school holidays!'