Sporty Parents Gifts

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

Baby Footballer

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Children's Nursery

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

Daddy's Hook

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

It's just a bad bruise. Field hockey balls can do damage. We'll have the doctor take a quick look. Quick?! It's rush hour! We're moving fine. Just wait. It's the 4:45 pm fall sports traffic jam. Next # 147. The doctors are: In out in in.

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

"She's a natural!"