Sporty Parent Gifts

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Dr. Behan?! Congratulations! It's a Boy!!!"

Another Rugby Star is Born.

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

Olympics create interest in curling.

Baby Footballer

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

Daddy's Hook

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

Expectant father with sports goods - "It's a girl."

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

'Well, it's a boy. And I think I can explain those sudden sharp pains in your rib cage.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

Dads.

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

"I am standing up straight."

"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"

"He needs more exercise. I recommend a team sport like hockey. He'd make a good goalie."

"Dad and son playing with rugby ball. Son runs up to ball and kicks it. Ball hits dad in nose - nose starts bleeding."

'Woo-hoo!This is the happiest day of my life!!'

'Lassie, come home!!'