Parental Mishaps Lover Pillows

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"It's not what you think."

'Good God! You want paternity leave again! That'll be the sixth time this year!'

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Insurance claim on Grandma

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

Aw, dang, grabbed my cell phone.

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

'You'd think you guys never saw a baby before!'

"That's the hospital car wash- your baby's over here."

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Golf Cart Punctures

'Magic and culinary.'

Ooops!

Zebra Crossing

Hey Siri, dictate a note. What would you like to say? Shhh!!! Whisper, Siri! I'm trying to dictate an article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist. I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. He said "I'm trying to dictate and article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist." Thanks.

Didn't know the call was on speaker phone.

''To my dear Lorraine, could I ever forget you?'... er... but my name's Sally!'