Parental Innovator T-Shirts

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

A baby using a heavy duty drill

'The stuka brought you.'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

'We need a new hot water bottle.'

Daisy Diaper Service

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"Does it come with instructions?"

"I wish school was more like TV."

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

Husband washes the dishes

Bearded man with baby sheltered under his beard.

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers