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Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

'This is the only way they'll listen to me.'

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

Family Life

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

Naughty Corner.

'The stuka brought you.'

Children at a 'Parental guidance vending machine'

Designer Baby.

"The water was too hot."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

"Does it come with instructions?"

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"Which one's mine?!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

"Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Can we keep it?"

Bearded man with baby sheltered under his beard.

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"