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Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

'This is the only way they'll listen to me.'

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

Family Life

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

Naughty Corner.

'The stuka brought you.'

Children at a 'Parental guidance vending machine'

Designer Baby.

"The water was too hot."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

The conversion.

"Does it come with instructions?"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

"Which one's mine?!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Oh, look! Baby's first text!'

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."