Parental Innovator Gifts

Self-driving stroller

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'The stuka brought you.'

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'We need a new hot water bottle.'

Daisy Diaper Service

I don't get the 5 paragraph essay. Do and outline. Topic. 3 examples. Conclusion. Ok. " 5 Graf Essay Stinks." Click click click. "2 long." Tap tap tap. "2 boring." "2 over." "#5grafmustdie." Thanks, Nana. It's a breakthrough! The 5-paragraph tweet!

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

The conversion.

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

"Does it come with instructions?"

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"I wish school was more like TV."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

Husband washes the dishes

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Which one's mine?!"