Parental Hero Gifts

Babies vs. Dogs

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"I miss the Augean stables."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Acclaimed mother.

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

'Caw blimey!'

Miracle Mom #5,293

The household cavalry

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

JAMES BONDING

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

"Yeah, the medals are nice, but this is what I'm most proud of!"

Dad's home

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

'Mother will catch you!'

"It's different when they're your own."