Parental Superhero Gifts

'Honest Dad! All I said was school holidays!'

Still having problems finding day care?'

Muscular Dad

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

Two bills for college tuition

'No, my mom can't come to the phone. She's digging out a bus route to my school.'

"Yeah, I know it's hard for her with a 22-month pregnancy, but I suffer too: it's a long time to cater to her cravings!"

'I hope your mum is close by if I ever need a tracheotomy.'

'be careful what you wish for.'

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

"So, what's your daughter's credit score?"

"Aww, c'mon, mom! None of the other kids have to wear their rubber bands on their claws."

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Babies vs. Dogs

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I miss the Augean stables."

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

JAMES BONDING

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

Fathers are Heroes

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

Iron Lady and Iron Man

'Mother will catch you!'

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"